I am determined to get back in shape!

There, I said it. I am putting it out there so I can have some accountability. I admit, part of my motivation is that my 30th reunion is coming up. Another motivating factor is that I have recently watched a friend of mine, who is over 40, transform herself and even win some bikini competitions in Florida -- no easy feat I am sure. Doesn't she look great!

Now, I don't want to go so far as to compete in anything, but I am tired of feeling physically unfit and disappointed when I look in the mirror.

When I was younger I was what would be considered very thin, but I always had some curves. Even when I remarried and had my 2nd child 16 years ago I was not more than maybe 110 lbs and wearing a size 4-6. 



Over the years my metabolism slowed and the pounds were harder to lose. I got up to about 150 and then successfully lost about 35 lbs following the 6 Week Body Makeover eating plan. Things were good. I was a then curvy size 6-8. 

It was just about that time that I suffered my football paparazzi injury -- yes, you heard me right, I was taking pictures on the sidelines at my son's high school football scrimmage and ended up being the one tackled when a play went out of bounds. The result was a tibial plateau fracture in my left leg that required surgery and some added hardware. 

I am the first to admit, I am a wimp and have never truly recovered from that - even after the Dr said I had no restrictions it is always in the back of my mind that I am damaged. I know my leg muscles are weak but at the same time I am able to do yoga, bike, use the elliptical and weight machines without pain so there is no excuse for not getting in shape. It just requires commitment and discipline.

With all that being said I am setting a goal to get in shape and be the best that I can be. This is me now...

And this is what I think could look like (thank you Photoshop)... LOL

Anyway, I used to have a bikini on the wall that I was trying to use for inspiration but, since I don't really go to the beach or pool, it didn't do much to inspire me. Instead, the other day I found a dress at the thrift store that is gorgeous and, since we go to several Mardi Gras Balls each year, if I can get to the point I can fit into it I would be thrilled -- this is my new inspiration!

Right now I am about 165 lbs and wear a size 12 (sometimes a 10). I plan to start managing my meals and getting into a regular exercise routine. I am also hopeful that I can have my 16 year old son join me in this journey. His weight is higher than it should be and he is not as active as he used to be so it is starting to add up for him to. 

Stay tuned and hopefully I will have some positive results to share with everyone!

Love my Kindle

I read a LOT of books. Even though I am older, I usually read young adult novels in the paranormal and fantasy genre more than anything. It seems like they allow me to escape from the everyday adult drama of life and go somewhere I can just laugh, feel young, and not be overwhelmed by adult problems (you can see some of my favorite authors on the sidebar with links to their Goodreads pages).

This past weekend I read two books that I really enjoyed. First was Gilded Wings by Cameo Renea. 

This is the 4^th book in the Hidden Wings Series and I read all the previous books last year. They are: Hidden Wings, Tethered Wings, and Broken Wings.

Basically, the series is about a 17 year old girl, Emma, who amazingly survives a horrific car crash that kills her parents. She is then taken in by an Aunt she’s never met and finds herself surrounded by gorgeous guardians, one of which (Kade) she has an instant connection with. There are all sorts of secrets and ancient prophecies and Emma finds that she is being hunted by evil creatures and fallen angels. This series has it all, love, loss, challenges, danger, more love, evil, intrigue, heaven, hell, great personalities, burning questions, a strong main character, lots of creepy creatures from hell, hot guys, and more!

The next book I read was Chase the Dark by Annette Marie.

This is the first of three books in this series and the 2nd & 3rd books are already available for pre-order. If you are like me, when you find a good book you hate to wait for the next one to come out so I like knowing when I can get them.

In this series, Piper Griffiths wants one thing in life: To become a Consul, a keeper of the peace between humans and daemons. She has to face some challenges to clear her name after a top secret magical weapon is stolen. To succeed she partners with 2 deamons, a dragonet, and others to find out what really happened. This story has great characters, an interesting setting, and some unexpected twists and turns. Very fun read!

I should probably do a better job of making notes so I can write a more thorough review when I finish a book. Often I read them quickly and one right after the other so I do not always recall the details - I will work on that. I've already finished another book since Sunday but I will save that for another post :-)

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year

I thought I would have trouble staying up to ring in 2015 but instead I found myself with a really bad case of insomnia and a song from the Rockin' New Years Eve special stuck in my head. I love Meghan Trainor but I did not want to listen to her all night long!!!

A few days ago I posted that I was going to pick one word to focus on this year but I did not anticipate it would be in such a literal sense.

Ever since I decided on my word I have had extra trouble sleeping. Insomnia is not a new problem for me and I'm sure it doesn't help that I have been trying to avoid taking anything to help me sleep. I think the last time I looked at the clock it was after 7AM and the sun was out but I was bound and determined I would fall asleep eventually. I think I did for all of two hours [sigh]. 

I've tried to explain what it's like when I go to bed at night and this graphic that I found on Pinterest pretty much sums it up.

The only thing I would add is that in between all of those thoughts I have a song (or songs) that keep running through my mind along with the numbers I keep trying to count as a way to hopefully stop all of the thoughts, sub thoughts, songs, etc.

After all of that I was tempted to just stay in my PJ's yesterday but when my hubby invited me to meet him at our local pub for New Years Day brunch (he goes frequently to watch EPL Soccer) I agreed. It was a nice change and I'm glad I made myself get up and go - even took a minute to do my hair and put on a little makeup (yay me).

Last night was a bit of the same but I think I finally fell asleep around 3 AM. I had some repetitive thoughts from the night before and then some brand new ones. Thankfully Meghan moved on and I got to enjoy the more mellow tunes of Joss Stone.

One Word for 2015

Just One Word

Today I was reading some blogs I follow and I saw a post on The Daily Digi about choosing one word to focus on in the coming year rather than making resolutions. Hmmm, interesting concept, I thought, but a year is a long time to focus on just one word? 

I clicked on links that were in the original post and read what others had to say. The first word that came to mind was CREATE because, for those of you who don't know me I love anything and everything creative...painting, typography, photography, doodling, scrapbooking, digital design, glass painting, etc. After I let that word sit for a little while I realized it was too predictable and something I do on a regular basis anyway.

I then looked at words that others had shared on Oneword365 and Ali Edwards' site and considered words like FINISH (because I have some un-reached goals & unfinished projects) or FEARLESS (because I battle anxiety). Finally, I started playing with words on Thesaurus.com and in the end I decided on AWAKE.

AWAKE (verb)

1. to wake up; rouse from sleep
2. to rouse to action; become active
3. to come or bring to an awareness; become cognizant

Synonyms for AWAKE

alive, attentive, aware, cognizant, vigilant, aroused, awakened, excited, knowing, roused, waking, needful, observant, on guard, wakeful, watchful

My family will tell you I love to sleep. I will tell you that many times when I am "napping" I am actually hiding from the world. It has become my way of coping with stress and anxiety. When I get overwhelmed I want to crawl in my bed and be left alone. I wake up at 6:00 every morning and when my boys leave the house about 30 minutes later I get back in bed for as long as possible before I have to go to work. I wake up early on the weekends but stay in bed as long as I can unless there is something I must do. In the past few months I have started feeling guilty when I am in bed in the morning or when I go to nap. Sleep should not be negative, it should be restorative and healthy.

The more I think about this word the more confident I am that it encompasses what I want to be and how I want to live my life. If I focus on being awake more often, perhaps I will reach my goals and finish those projects (like getting back in shape and organizing the house). If I am awake I can nurture and grow the relationships I have. If I am awake I can be more mindful of what is happening in the world around me.

"Some people dream of success, while others wake up and work hard at it" ~ Winston Churchill